For something a bit different in this episode of Carnage, Scotty downs tools to talk about the top 10 quickest cars we’ve ever built over the 13-odd years of our Street Machine YouTube channel.

This list is based around quarter-mile times down the drag strip. Drag racing is by no means the only form of motorsport we’ve done on the channel to date, but it does make ranking our little gremlin machines a hell of a lot easier. So, without further ado, here’s the top 10, from slowest to quickest!

10. ‘Dad’s Ute’ – Scotty’s VE Valiant ute

A family heirloom from Scotty’s father, this VE ute was upgraded with a fresh, Scotty-built 318 small-block, and ran a best of 13.26@102mph with a slipping transmission. Scotty is keen to fix that and get it into the 12s, so hopefully we’ll see that soon!

9. $2K Challenge AU Falcon

Remember our $2K Challenge series? It was a ripper! We turbocharged a cheapie AU Falcon XR6 (purchased for just $2000) to race against Brenden ‘Bubba’ Medlyn in a 5.0-litre VT Calais. It made 350rwkW and ran a best of 13.00@117mph with the manual ’box refusing to go into third gear – good old T5s, eh?

8. ‘Supermang’ – VN Berlina

Ah, Supermang! A crowd favourite, Supermang is a tidy VN Berlina we swapped a supercharged L67 V6 into to make a nice little street car. It ran a 12.53@106mph at a cost of around $16K, including buying the car, so not bad! It’s currently running with its new 4.2-litre stroker V6, which may get twin-charged soon.

7. ‘Toxic Avenger’ – Ford Territory

One experiment that didn’t really go the way we’d hoped was the ‘Toxic Avenger’ Ford Territory. We purchased this disgusting, neglected Territory with the hopes of running 13s or even 12s by cutting most of it away, but it only managed a 14.98. An attempt at running nitrous set the car alight; later on, we turbocharged it, which finally yielded a 12.18@114mph. But it was still a heavy brute, and we were glad to see it gone when it was finally scrapped!

6. $2K Challenge VT Calais

The Holden half of our $2K Challenge takes sixth spot. We gave our VT Calais to Bubba Medlyn and Kane Goodliffe to race against us in the video series, and they converted the 5.0-litre to carby, gave it a cam and added nitrous. The result? An impressive 12.12@117mph.

5. ‘Turbo Taxi’ – FG Falcon

The car that started all this madness! The original Carnage car, Turbo Taxi is a genuine Melbourne FG Falcon taxi that we purchased cheap as chips, our idea being to turbocharge it and hopefully run 10s while still running LPG. However, its best time so far is only 11.01@125mph, blowing the rods out of the car over the line in the process. Since then, it has depleted Melbourne’s supply of greentop LPG Barras in our quest for that 10-second timeslip, but to date, that goal has eluded us.

4. Toyota Lexcen wagon

Our best sleeper to date, our turbo 1UZ V8-swapped Toyota Lexcen wagon has run a best of 10.31@136mph, with factory 3.08:1 diff gears! We’re getting ready to take it back to the track to run a nine, and then it’ll get kicked out for not having a rollcage. What should we do with it after that? Let us know!

3. ‘Trolvo’ – Volvo 240

The $1000 car that cost us well over $20,000, the 1JZ-swapped Volvo 240 we called the Trolvo has a PB of 9.5@141mph to its name. But again, with no proper rollcage in the car, it was sketchy, and we had to decide whether to continue with the chassis and spend a fortune, or call it quits there. In the end, we transferred its Turbo 400 to our Lexcen, pulled the engine, and sent it off as a roller.

2. ‘Grimace’ – VS Commodore ute

A car you would’ve seen more recently on the channel, our twin-turbo, Dart-block 427 VS Commodore ute – affectionately named Grimace – was built to do Drag Challenge. Put together using parts from VPW Australia and in tandem with MPW Performance & Race Fab, it ran mid-eights at Drag Challenge, putting Scotty on the podium in the PSR 8.5 Radial class at last year’s event. Its PB to date is 8.49@163mph, and Scotty has plans to future-proof the LS and run sevens. Watch this space!

1. Mazda MX-5

Initially built with an LS and twin turbos out the bonnet, our MX-5 eventually found a turbocharged Barra in it, which saw it run a best of 8.22@173mph! We tried to push it into the sevens, but sadly, it just wasn’t quite there. Rather than spend a fortune on redeveloping the car, we recycled its AllFast Converters Powerglide into our Grimace VS ute, and sold the shell on to greener pastures.

So, there you have it! Watch Scotty explain the full list in detail below, and let us know what car you think will be next to crack our top 10! Thanks as always to VPW Performance & Kemppi Australia for their ongoing support.