First published in the March 2012 issue of Street Machine

It’s a warm and balmy Friday night at Kwinana Motorplex. Matt Pearce in his blown 454 one-tonner, PREDATOR, has just crushed the opposition in the winner-takes-all Pound The Ground skid comp. His was a superb display that brought the crowd to their feet.

A couple of blown cars are waiting for a test ’n’ tune run on the pad. Russell Woods is only feathering the accelerator in his ultra-schmick VL as he enters the pit. The sound of the engine is intoxicating — it’s a George Separovich-tuned 540ci big-block Chev. Mid-skid, the VL erupts into flame from the rear and fire crews scramble but before they can take action the flames are gone. As Russell idles off the pad, fire spews from the rear end again.

“Not bad for his first skid,” someone comments. Not bad? The car is immaculate and it debuted with fire. “How can you top that?” I remark.

I’m about to eat humble pie.

Jason Foekens hits the pad with the force of a raging bull in BLWNWGN, narrowly misses the wall with his first heli, and then explodes into fire all the while staying on the gas. A thought crosses my mind: “Maybe he’s going to drive the fire out.” Soon enough the wagon spouts fire from both ends. Game over.

The crowd goes ballistic. Welcome to the West.

All day on Saturday the crowds oscillate from the track while the driving events are on, to the pits that double as the campsite. Whilst the weather all weekend is stinking hot, the vibe of the event is cool, laid back and unpretentious. The normally ubiquitous car show dickhead is nowhere to be seen. Instead, cute girls wander about unmolested by the usual taunts, while families and young and old crews all mix seamlessly. I feel like I’ve dropped over to a mate’s house and he’s having a gathering of old friends. Every owner I chat with offers me a coldie. Hospitable bunch.

Cruising around the pits I’m flabbergasted at the variety and standard of tough rides, old and new, Australian and American. The pay dirt of mining appears to have flowed down to the WA car scene.

To escape the heat I seek sanctuary in the air-conditioned show ’n’ shine tent. Mark Miocevich’s black XB GT coupe (SM, May ’04), Nick and Tim Bartrop’s HQ (SM, Jan ’12) and David Hopkin’s EJ panel van (SM, Feb ’11) are all standouts and familiar vehicles. But I soon find myself staring lustfully at Francis Banken’s ’74 Landau coupe — 465 horses of luxury. If only Francis would realise his car would look better in my shed. I’m definitely smitten.

With so many exceptional cars on display, window-shopping is a luxurious dream. Besides the Landau, I could have happily driven away in Brett Bairstow’s E38 R/T Charger or the 632ci big-block HQ Monaro whose owner I didn’t manage to collar.

Back out in the sun, I join the masses trackside for the driving events. The Supercruise is sort of like the Megaskid meets the burnout competition but with your mates along for the shenanigans.

“Organised chaos,” one punter observes. Drivers are rewarded for their antics with a round of generous applause from the stands that’s as polite as you’d find at the golf. The organisers give everyone the freedom to muck up, which is refreshing. A few luckless drivers tag the wall but after a quick sweep-up of the broken parts the lunacy continues. The heavy hand of the nanny state is nowhere to be seen and it’s all smiles from the governing authorities.

The crowd keeps on building for the burnout eliminations. With so many strong tyre-killing skids during the first round of eliminations I pity the judges but it’s the size of the crowd that blows me away. Thousands of people each side of the track rejoice in the spectacle of the gladiatorial amphitheatre of smoke colloquially known as the Snakepit. Some spectators yell colourful observations but most are appreciative and approving.

The sunset is stunning and the track activities take a break. The pits are the place to be and the Saturday evening buzz of people cooking, drinking, laughing and chilling is markedly different from the previous week at Summernats. The crowd returns en masse to the Snakepit after dark for the finals of Miss Motorvation and the second round of burnout eliminations. It’s the end of a cracking day.

Finals days can sometimes waver between a hangover and a formality but the hardy punters who are willing to brave another hot day in Kwinana ensure this event is still high on energy, another day of smoky intensity. The burnout finals are the crowning glory and all finalists are celebrated for making it through to the end but someone has to win.

Darren Williams in DIESEL had been inviting destruction all weekend with high speed, belligerent displays each time he hit the pad and deserved his Open win. Crowd favourite Earle Salter in FERAL took out the Blown title.

As the smoke clears and fires are extinguished in the Snakepit one last time, I reflect on the weekend. The calibre of the cars and people was high. The tyranny of distance from the east to here meant it’d been a long time between Emu Bitters but I promise myself I’ll be back soon.

HIGHLIGHTS:

1. Earl Salter took out the Motorvation Burnout title for the second time.

2. Bunbury’s Russell Woods and his VL, which caught fire on his debut run, on Friday. He did everything except paint and it runs a 540 Chev, an 8/71 blower on 7lb and a Powerglide.

3. Alison Lougher’s LH Torana won Grand Champion, Top Judged, Best Sedan, Best Interior and Best Engine.

4. Luke Manera of Wanneroo said he was having a relaxing weekend in VANTASTIC. Sporting a 540 BBC powerplant, T400 and a tough-as sheet-metal 9in, it cracked 550hp on the dyno.

5. A rare moment when Peter Saitta’s super-tidy XP coupe sat still — he was cruising in it most of the weekend. The driveline is 302, C4 and 9in.

6. Brett and Nicole Bairstow’s E38 Charger dominated the Muscle Car judging, with a spec sheet that reads like a who’s who of Aussie Mopar goodness, including A84 track pack, twin-filler big tank, A95 interior and A66 fender kit.

7. This immaculate Landau is proudly owned by Francis Banken. The 351 pumps out a tidy 456hp.

8. WILD MICK belongs to Mick Hockings. The tonner has a three-inch chop and runs a 350 Chev. In the finals he worked the pad with military precision, hitting every corner to the delight of the crowd then within the time limit blew both tyres.

9. This year’s special guest was Nick and Tim Bartrop’s stunning HQ Monaro (SM, Jan ’12).

10. Steve Gildich’s BLOJOB Statesman packs a 1000hp, 540ci, 8/71-blown rat.

11. Chris Boucher’s ’53 Cadillac was built to contest the Carrera Panamericana with a 540ci BBC, Franklin quick-change rear, full ’cage and Camaro front clip.

12. Glenn March’s stunning Barbados Green HQ GTS.

13. Darren Williams made it a clean sweep for the Ford boys in the burnouts, taking out the Aspirated title in his ute.

14. Miss Motorvation 26, the gorgeous Dane!